Fellow Missileers:

Happy New Year -- I hope each of you had a safe and joyful holiday. In between life events, holiday planning, and gift wrapping, our newsletter team put together another great product that I hope you all enjoy. From our National meeting and the Hall of Fame ceremony to updates on the book and more missile trivia, this edition is chock full of current and past missile events. If you get a paper copy of the newsletter you will notice a change this month—with a new printing company we have elected to send the newsletter in an envelope rather than putting the address on the back page.  Here is the link to your electronic copy of the January 2025 newsletter!

Christmas cheers:
As part of the 23 December 2024 Christmas poem dispatch, I remarked that Old Timers would smile at some of the references and younger crew members might question some references such as the SACCS spoons and crew members with guns. The best response I received was: “….and the real Old Timers want to know why in the hell do they have a TV in the LCC?”  Of course, that makes me wonder if I should I tell him that they actually have access to the “world wide web” in the LCC?

Cancer Study:
Kim McAlister wrote regarding Mike Poppert’s passing: “Richard and I knew Mike and his wife-he was a good man. As a retired nurse, I suggest that every missileer that could have been impacted should discuss this risk with their primary care providers so they can determine appropriate assessment and testing. This is such a tragedy and was preventable. This hurts my heart.”

PES Seals:
Before they LCCs had TDIs there PES seals and before that, there was no authorized sleeping in the capsule!  Jim Sorenson recently donated a batch of PES seals to the Minuteman Missile National Historic Site (which includes D01) to be placed on the applicable drawers and add to the LCC authenticity.  However, what is missing is the little blue flashlight used to examine the seals for tampering.  If you have a PES device you are willing to donate to the museum, please let me know.  

And now for a little Heritage and Humor:

TOP HAND...Missileer Heritage... "Chief CaCa”    
A tradition that started in the ‘70s at Minot AFB with a tissue box?  A missileer, for some strange reason gathered up fresh horse caca and individually wrapped each horse apple in plastic wrap then put it in a tissue box. At first, he put it in his freezer, over the protests of his loving wife. She gently removed it and put it on the back porch. The box stayed there over the winter and the horse caca became sort of “freeze-dried”.

That freeze-dried caca tissue box was presented to the next officer when the original caca collector was selected for TOPHAND. At the going away party, the caca collector stated the officer who was being awarded this “gift” was selected because he had never seen anybody take as much “crap” all the time from others. The first recipient did not throw away such a valuable “gift” but instead took it home and put it in his freezer. He told his wife he had a plan for that box of freeze-dried caca.

As it turned out, the first recipient of the freeze-dried caca tissue box was also selected for TOPHAND. The officer took it with him in his car as the movers would not pack it in his house-hold goods. As his tour at TOPHAND progressed, he saw many opportunities for the next recipient of the caca tissue box which he named the “CHIEF CACA  AWARD” Some examples are below:

During a launch countdown, the Countdown Control Officer (CCO) heard a person talking on the countdown net. The CCO responded; “this is a dedicated net, “GIT” off the net...with emphasis on the “GIT”. The person talking on the net responded with “who is this? The CCO loudly responded “GIT off this net”. Turned out the two star commander of the First Strategic Aerospace Division was trying to reach the Launch Director (LD). After the launch, the two-star directed the CCO to report to him the next day. After a brief lesson on phone etiquette, he coined him for doing the right thing. Still, he took a lot of caca for it during his TOP HAND tour and was a recipient of the Award.

One tradition was the countdown team would drive out to the launch console center on Globe Rd. about 35 minutes away. On the road was a series of right turns with white directional bumps. The team called them “fart bumps”. If the van driver, usually the newest TOP HANDer, drove over them too fast, the entire team would be tossed around in the back.

Every time the driver drove over the “fart bumps” too fast, the launch would have problems or be canceled. It was believed the van driver would “jinx” the launch if they drove over them at high speed. If the launch was canceled, the driver was liable for the first round at the club.  

Deer are a driving hazard at Vandenberg. Prior to one launch, the driver was going very slow (@15-20 mph). The LD, anxious to get to his launch console on time, announced that if the driver hit a deer, he wouldn’t kill it, but the van just might “rub it to death”. The driver sped up to a breathtaking 25 mph but never went over the fart bumps too fast.

One Launch Director showed up to a launch and when he took off his jacket, the CCO noticed he didn’t have on his uniform belt. The CCO announced to the other console operators that after the launch the LD was going to take the team to the club “for a belt”. Which he did.

One LD had his Glory Trip launch delayed several times due to missile or ground equipment problems. The other countdown team members in his office saw that he was becoming a” little frustrated” over the multiple delays.

One morning the LD found a note on his desk that said, “Job Control called and said his missile had to have a rudder retrofit installed on the missile”. He slammed the note down, stood up and said loudly, “Dammit another delay, does anybody know anything about what a rudder retrofit is”? The person who put the note on his desk, answered, “Yeah, it’s so you can sail your missile down range...you know...like a boat” The LD calmly sat down and responded, “this is not funny”, but chuckled about it anyway.

Eventually the first recipient of the caca filled tissue box was reassigned from TOP HAND. He took the caca filled tissue box out of his freezer and saw the box was falling apart. He built the current wooden box, carefully transferred the plastic wrapped  freeze-dried horse apples then sealed the box. Finally, he secured a brass horse and plate to the lid. As another recipient was awarded this “gift” they were required to inscribe their name on the plates, then award it to the next recipient.

Over the years the reasons for receiving the Chief CaCa Award may have changed. However, it has been part of TOP HAND and missileer heritage for over 45 years. TOP HAND officers are professionals trained to test the Minuteman force and ensure it is ready to accomplish its deterrence mission. This group of professionals have kept the spirit and intent of the Chief CaCa Award passing it on for future TOP HAND missileers.

Sincerely,

Jim 

James F. Warner

Executive Director